So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
