i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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