sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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