i just google imaged poop.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
