And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
