She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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