You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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