Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
