It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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