so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
