put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
