Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
