he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
