Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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