My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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