I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
