I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
