The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
