Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize