Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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