Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
