I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
