I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
