Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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