If i could tip my vagina, i would.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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