do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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