i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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