my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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