I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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