I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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