she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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