a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
