they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
