Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
