the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
