it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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