thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
