Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
