I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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