Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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