thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
