he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
