He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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