Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize