So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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