that's an acceptable place to lick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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