why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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