Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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