Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
