I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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