I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sober January is a disaster.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
