this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
