There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
