In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
