Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
