hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
