Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
