ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
