After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize