you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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