just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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