So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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