I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
