i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
