He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I could fuck to npr.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
