If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
