You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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