some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
