He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
